A Bully and A Good Boy

When I was a child, I have a very big body size unlike the other kids at the same age as me, it makes me very arrogant and bullied the other kid. When I was doing the bully, in my childish thought I feel very domineering, satisfied, and having fun with it. But every time after I do it, I feel so guilty and realized that what I did was so wrong. In the night after, I will cry and feel so sorry for them, so in the next day, I would apologize to the kid that I've bullied before and then we become good friends. 

I don't know how I got a behavior like this, my family was financially comfortable, my parents always do me well and never act too rude to me and didn't too spoiled me either. Strangely, my bullying behavior comes on and off for some period of time. Sometimes I will become an unstable kid, I will bully my nearby friends such as punching them without reason, act so rude, easy to get angry for small mistakes, and become temperamental. A couple of days later, I will realize if every bad thing that I did was wrong, apologizing to the victim, then becoming good friends again.

Now I was a 38-year-old grown-up man and become so sensitive about social issues. I build a foundation for children with cancer, initiate a group house for people with disability, and made a community for people with serious illnesses. Sometimes I am still confused about how I acted so strangely when I was a child, it's just some weird mental psychological things going on.