Drug Addiction Fighters
When I was 12 my dad passed away in my lap due to a heroin overdose, same with my older brother 2 years after. My mom who was also a drug addict at that time, somehow blamed me, saying if I couldn't protect our family from society. Our regency was well known as a bad place with a strong thug neighborhood where drugs were distributed easily.
Even though I feel disappointed in Mom, I can understand she's stressed out and also having deep sadness because of seeing our family break down slowly. She becomes unstable, sometimes she's so rageful without a reason to me but lowkey I know she's still trying to care for me. Every day she only gave me money in the dawn time, then left me all alone for the rest of the day.
She works as a vegetable seller in a traditional market that is open 24 hr. She rarely sleeps in the house and leaves all the housework such as cleaning, washing, and cooking to me. She only went home when I wasn't at home (school time) or in the middle of the night when I was asleep. Couple times I didn't sleep in the night just to see her, only peeking through the hole key and hearing the sound of her walking or doing activities in the house.
The only one who makes me survive is my two best friends at school. They were my classmate Ari and David, we had many things in common. We made a promise that we will keep strong from this place's temptation and we would survive this messed up society.
Sadly, Ari died of a drug overdose couple weeks after my brother passed away. He was trapped and forced to use some dose of heroin by several thugs which is the same drug user group that my brother and my dad had joined before. So that day I decided to come into their place, a house that they used to call basecamp where they use drugs.
I came with full anger, I kicked the front door to open then yelled at them, I said that they had killed my family and my best friend. I cursed them, mocked them, and started to throw some furniture into couple of them. I insult them, punch some people's faces, and kick them randomly, but at that time they're high and no one fights me back.
The noise that I made drew the attention of the neighbors around who ended up pulling me out of the house. They try to calm me down but in the outside of the house, I'm roaring my cry screaming out my hate to them. A couple days after that incident, I felt kinda scared that they would attack me or my mom, but it never happened, probably because they thought I was just a kid or the people around were protecting my family. But later, the bond between me and my only one remaining best friend David was getting stronger and stronger.
Unfortunately, When I was in my second year of high school, my grandma who lived in mom's hometown died then left the inheritance owning of the hometown house to my mom. Although finally me and my mom decided to get out from the thug society, sadly I had to leave David to suffer alone in that place. We later made a promise to never forget our purpose of never falling into those thugs until we met again.
After me and my mom moved to our hometown, we finally could live a better life and our relationship was getting better. She told me that she was so sorry for ignoring me this whole time, it's all because she felt very ashamed of her instability during her drug addiction. Mom loved me so much, so did I and she totally stopped her drug addiction right after we moved.
Mom told me she never enjoyed using drugs, even though it's addicting, she'd rather hate the after-effects of it. That's the reason why she could stop her addiction easily. The reason why she keeps using drugs at that time is all indeed caused by the influence of those big thug drug dealer groups. Mom agreed to buy their drugs in exchange of they must leave me unharmed. That's why the drug dealer never touched me at all, my mom secretly always protected me.
Short story ahead, I graduated from high school a year after then decided to go to college. Somehow in college, I met David again in the same class and soon we became closer. We became friends again until the third semester he admitted to me that he failed to keep our promise. He fell into the trap of the thug right after we separated and now he become a drug addict.
At first, I was disappointed in him, but at the same time I realized that if I couldn't put all the blame on him, it was also my fault who leaving him alone. He told me the reason he was never touched by the thug before was due to my mom's protection of me. I want to cut my connection with him, but somehow part of me wants to help him get out of the drug addiction. So I decided to keep the friendship for his recovery.
Our connection was a bit strange, we still trying to keep in touch but at the same point were avoiding each other. Almost every day I remind him to stop his addiction, but he responds only by giving me short answers or trying to change the subject. I don't mind if he uses drugs in front of me, at least I can control its usage.
Whenever I get a chance, I always try to talk about stopping using drugs, but the conversation will end in a fight or we will make a distance in a few days. But neither I nor he always ended up in the same position that we needed each other.
Right during the fifth semester, under the guise of doing some school assignment in my place, he with his other three drug-addict friends trapped me into using drugs. At first, David put sleeping pills in my drink which put me to sleep.
Couple hours later, when I woke up and was in a semi-conscious state, they injected me some dose of heroine into my feet. I tried to fight a little but absolutely losing by ganged by four people. Couple minutes after that, I already gave up on my body, I felt something strange, peak satisfaction that I'd never felt before.
We had a big fight after that, David said if he was forced to do this by the community after knowing if he had a contact with me. Somehow some people from the drug thug organization still have a grudge against me. Me and David were strained couple of days, but again and again, we ended up back together. The difference now I have become a drug addict.
I was overwhelmed with those momentary feelings of pleasure, trying to find it in something else, but I couldn't find it except instantly through drugs. I don't know where my hatred for drugs has gone, I forgot about Dad, My brother, and Ari who has died cause of it. And importantly, I forget about my mom who always fought for me this whole time.
Despite the feelings of regret and doubt inside my heart, every time David and his friends come to visit me, I seem to accept their drug influence. Somewhere inside I feel enjoyed until the point that I was the one who asked for drugs by myself. I became a drug addict and started to work as a hotel cleaner just to use all of my money to buy heroin from them. I and David become strange, we rarely talk about sharing thoughts, but almost every day we use drugs together in his drugs home base.
Time passed until in the 8th semester, almost 2 years after I became a drug addict, I started to feel that my body was destroyed from the inside. Not only physical effects such as easily sleepy, itchy skin, nausea, snotting, and difficulty breathing; Mentally I easily feel panicked, overthinking, and had hallucinations. At this point, I really wanted to stop but always failed due to David and his friend's influence.
My studies were abandoned, I never contacted my mom, and never going home. Several times my uncle came to visit me just to ask me to go home, but I always made excuses, leaving money for my mom, then running away to the drug base camp. Day after day I felt my body was filled with guilt, escape, fear, and disappointment that getting bigger and bigger.
Until one day, David and I with several friends decided to go fishing, there's a moment of my turning point happened. At the rental fishing pond, we created so much noise that drawn everyone's attention in that place into us. I started to feel frightened that they were police under disguise who were ready to arrest us.
This hallucination feeling increased when I was putting my fishing pole into the pond, somehow I thought that inside the water another police waiting and ready to arrest us. It got worse when we caught a fish, I thought if the fish was a police under disguise. The peak is when I stared into the fish, I thought if there were police officers inside its stomach, they would come out from the fish mouth to arrest me.
That time, I realized if I became insane. I understand if my imagination went wild, absurd, and its aren't real, but at the same time feel terrorized by it. That moment I suddenly remembered that the one who could cure me was my mom. In a semi-conscious-high state, without a word, I left all of them alone in that rental fishing pond. I don't care about David anymore, I don't care about the drugs, I feel sad, and I just want to meet my mom. I ride my bike without using a helmet, then ride it for a total of 4 hours inter-region, going to my home, my actual home, the place that I always wanted to be,.. my mom.
I arrived at the house in rain-soaked condition, I screamed in front of the house for my mom, and I saw her in the living room sitting watching TV shocked after me. I crawled to her feet, crying and prostrating myself saying so much sorry and apologizing for being a bad child. I confess everything that happened to me and I want to be cured by Mom. That time Mom was also crying and then saying
"I don't want your money son, I don't care about your achievement, I just want my son back"
At that point I decided to break off all my connections with those drug addicts, i was quarantined for a total 6 months doing nothing inside the house just to focus on rehabilitating and curing my addiction. I left all my stuff (phone, money, clothes, apartment), cut my college, disappeared from my work, and I don't care about those addicts anymore just to spend my time on my drug addict recovery.
Today I was cured for more than 10 years and still living with my mom, I've successfully built my own hotels, got married, had 2 children, and lived the peaceful life that I want. Although there is a slight feeling of sympathy for my past friend David, the one who can save him is himself. Until today, only time that could prove that I'll never touch that thing again to my mom, my dad, to my brother, and for everyone that I love.
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